In my last post I talked about the concept of choosing One Word for the year. Only I haven’t told you yet what my word is.
It’s kind of funny how many words are needed to explain just One Word.
Let me try.
Just before Christmas, I did something a good blogger is never supposed to do.
I disappeared. Without warning. For quite a long time. Five weeks, to be exact.
So where did I go? Well, among other places, here:
Aaaaaand here. Pretty nice view, huh?
I couldn’t remember the last time I’d read a book (and I love to read more than anything else.) My marriage was suffering. I struggled with feeling anxious and overwhelmed. I stayed up later and later, trying to get everything done, and still couldn’t get through it all. I felt like I was letting everyone down, but the only thing that could “give” was time for sleep. I was living exhausted.
In the middle of all this, we moved house. You know what that’s like. My whole life felt chaotic. But meanwhile, the blog was really starting to take off. New opportunities, more traffic, more success, if only I could just keep those plates spinning and do more.
More. Always more.
Of course, it was not sustainable. At gut-level, I knew this. But when you’re on a trajectory, it’s so hard to change course. Life hurtles faster, you gain more and more momentum, and how do you pull back from that? I’ve spent so much time and energy building something here; I’m so invested. I wanted the growth, the momentum. It was killing me, but wasn’t this what I’d always dreamed of?
It took a wake-up call from my marriage to realise that, no. That is not what I wanted. That’s not what God called me to, here – growth at the expense of everything else: self, sanity and husband included.
Even so, when I disappeared, it wasn’t by choice – at least, not at first. The thing is, we went away on a family holiday to Tasmania for a month. And my husband, quite rightly, put his foot down and said “no” to blogging.
It weighed on me, my absence. It was like this magnetic pull. I worried about what people would think. How my stats would plummet. Whether I’d ever recover momentum. I’d always intended to have posts pre-scheduled before we left, but with the house move, the rush of decorating clients, the blogging deadlines, I just didn’t get there. Leaving a silence like that, an empty space, felt weirdly off-balancing.
And yet, slowly, I learned to let go. And in the process I gained perspective.
I would hope people will say this: She lived well. She loved her husband and her kids and her friends. She put God first and she had an impact in this world.
The last can only ever flow from the first. I had it all the wrong way around.
So what have I been doing the past five weeks that I haven’t been blogging?
I read a book a week – inhaled the stories like someone coming up for air.
I had long indulgent baths looking out over the bay.
I watched the flames flickering in the fireplace and thought about nothing at all.
I went on long hikes that left my muscles aching and my spirit full.
I reconnected with my husband, the wonderful man I’m blessed to have been married to for fourteen years.
I visited windswept playgrounds to watch my kids climb and run and laugh.
I tasted delicious and unusual new foods, like a tofu taco with mint and cabbage salad, pickled cucumber and cashew ginger aioli.
I spent long minutes holding the warm weight of my daughter and stroking her silky curls.
 |
| Allegra at 2 – nickname “Diva”. |
I laughed and confided with dear soul-friends.
I tickled and tackled and snuggled with my boys.
I ate too many cheese platters and drank too much good coffee and wine.
I visited new places and learned more about this beautiful country I call home.
I ate squashed sandwiches from a backpack on soaring, wind-swept cliffs.
I watched my children giggle with their grandparents.
I wept at a memorial site.
I listened to live music and felt the beat through my feet.
I made pizzas with friends and ate them hot and crisp from the pizza oven they built themselves.
I watched yachts sail safe into harbour.
I cuddled babies and saw all the potential of a life yet to be lived in their enormous blue eyes.
 |
| I totally did not pose my children in this awesomely cheesy fashion, FYI. They just did it all on their own. Synchronised stair sleeping. It’s the latest thing. |
So what’s my word for 2015? You’ve probably already guessed.
The thing is, I plan to be here for the long term. I don’t want to flare bright and burn out in my first or second year.
So maybe that means my blogging schedule will look different from most. Maybe I won’t be able to blog three times a week like I’d planned. Maybe… gasp… some weeks I won’t be able to blog at all. I mean, good grief – take last week for example! This post was written a week ago, and I ran into some irritating technical problems that kept me up all hours and prevented me from posting any sooner.
But the world kept turning and today my firstborn started Grade One and tomorrow my second son will start Prep, and note to self, what’s more important – really?
All that to say, if you’re the sort of reader who likes to check in regularly and see what’s new, I encourage you to subscribe by email, so my posts come straight to you at their own unique pace. (Plus you’ll get my free e-book that has been getting heartfelt feedback from women all over the world – you can read more about it here. What’s not to love?)
It’s not that I’ve lost my passion for what I’m doing, or that I’ve run out of ideas and inspiration. Quite the opposite – this feels a little like gently applying the handbrake while hurtling down the highway at 100 km an hour. I’m more fired up and excited about this blog than ever. My brain is constantly bursting with creative ideas, new projects, fresh topics. Just this morning I sat down and wrote a list of fifteen new posts I’m dying to write. I have far more content than I have time to blog about it. My greatest frustration right now is time; time to make it all happen.
One day when the kids are all in school I’d love to work from home full-time doing this, but in the meantime, I’m not going to wish my life away. My main role right now is as a mother and wife, and I’m committed to giving my husband and kids the best of me. I’m not going to offer them the scraps of my time and attention. And if we can work out some sort of universe-defying balance so that everyone’s needs are met and I can simultaneously thrive in this creative business venture… well, that will be awesome too.
My goal is to thrive, so rest easy, I do have some universe-defying plans in place. 😉 Plus I have some awesome new opportunities coming up this year that I CANNOT wait to share with you!
What I do know is that I’m going to continue to do my absolute best here, without sacrificing the things that matter. I’m going to guard my marriage and protect the margin that I need to stay sane and healthy. I’m going to say “no” to stuff, even some really good stuff.
And even if that means I don’t grow this blog quite as quickly as I would have liked… even if it means taking a deep breath and releasing my perfectionist expectations of myself… I know it’s all going to turn out okay.
Here’s to balance.
Let’s chat: Have you ever struggled to find balance in your life? Do you have a word for this year?
Sweet Karen – more and more of my favorite bloggers are scaling back their posting schedules… no one can keep up a break neck pace forever! So glad you will still be posting.
Karen, just beautiful. I'm so glad you have a husband who sees clearly even when you don't. My man is the same way—putting his foot down when I can't see the need to just. stop.
I'm glad you had some time to refresh and recharge. That your spirit was filled as you made memories with your littles. They really are only little for a little while. You are a wise woman to step back, re-prioritize and re-balance the most important stuff in your life.
I took a break (husband-initiated) over Christmas too. It felt weird to be away, but I felt refreshed coming back to my blog. As you learn how to balance the demands and desires of your life, may God guide you in every decision. I'm proud of you, for whatever that may be worth. 🙂
Looking forward to future posts!
Just loves your honesty and thoughts on this. I have been blogging for a year and started to get caught up in the grow grow grow mentality. I love blogging- and sharing with others, but I don't love letting it consume me. So I have refocused and slowed down. And now I feel like I can enjoy it so much more without all the pressure!
I literally just hit "publish" on my blog post about my word of the year being "balance", then read yours! It seems many bloggers and work-from-home-moms are finding this more-and-more challenging. It's encouraging reading posts like this so we know we're not alone!
Sweet Karen – more and more of my favorite bloggers are scaling back their posting schedules… no one can keep up a break neck pace forever! So glad you will still be posting.
Karen, just beautiful. I'm so glad you have a husband who sees clearly even when you don't. My man is the same way—putting his foot down when I can't see the need to just. stop.
I'm glad you had some time to refresh and recharge. That your spirit was filled as you made memories with your littles. They really are only little for a little while. You are a wise woman to step back, re-prioritize and re-balance the most important stuff in your life.
I took a break (husband-initiated) over Christmas too. It felt weird to be away, but I felt refreshed coming back to my blog. As you learn how to balance the demands and desires of your life, may God guide you in every decision. I'm proud of you, for whatever that may be worth. 🙂
Looking forward to future posts!
I just lost me comment – & I gotta go get my boys up for swimming lessons 😉
Suffice to say, you have a keeper in your hubby…may 2015 be as enriching for your family as your Tassie holiday, and everyone who is inspired by blogs should realise people need to step away from the keyboard – or there's nothing to blog about!
Those that count, aren't judgey & simply look forward with anticipation to the next inspirational post – whenever that pops up 😉
Just loves your honesty and thoughts on this. I have been blogging for a year and started to get caught up in the grow grow grow mentality. I love blogging- and sharing with others, but I don't love letting it consume me. So I have refocused and slowed down. And now I feel like I can enjoy it so much more without all the pressure!
I literally just hit "publish" on my blog post about my word of the year being "balance", then read yours! It seems many bloggers and work-from-home-moms are finding this more-and-more challenging. It's encouraging reading posts like this so we know we're not alone!
Your blog was just the breath of fresh air I needed. Finding balance is still something I struggle with even at 50 but like you I'm determined to keep things in perspective this year. So glad you are refreshed and rejuvenated from your holiday! Your inspiring words are welcome whenever you find time to share them! x
She lived well. She loved
her husband and her kids and her friends. She put God first and she had an
impact in this world.- these are the words that inspired me from your blog today- GOOD on you for realising what is IMPORTANT !!!!!
Balance is a tricky thing- but if you do keep God first and put the time in to your marriage and your family, God will direct you in to what else is important to him…and to where he wants you to impact others…
You truly are a breath of fresh air!!!!
Be blessed today..
Sue xx
Thanks, girl!! xoxo
Jeanne, that's worth a lot!! Thank you, sweet lady!!
Keri, that's awesome. Well done you for keeping perspective and staying balanced. I'm so glad it's given you new enjoyment for what you do. It's so good to hear from others who've been through the same journey.
I just lost me comment – & I gotta go get my boys up for swimming lessons 😉
Suffice to say, you have a keeper in your hubby…may 2015 be as enriching for your family as your Tassie holiday, and everyone who is inspired by blogs should realise people need to step away from the keyboard – or there's nothing to blog about!
Those that count, aren't judgey & simply look forward with anticipation to the next inspirational post – whenever that pops up 😉
Agreed, Crystal! I know this is something a lot of people struggle with, especially with all the expectations we put on ourselves to juggle more and more. I popped over and read your post, and love the thoughts you shared. xo
Thank you, Tara!! <3 Your words are a big relief to me… I do tend to be neurotic, and I've worried about being judged for my choice to pull back a little. So glad to have beautiful and accepting people like you in my readership. xo
Thanks, Donna!! Yes, I think it's something we'll always struggle with to some degree. There's not enough time for everything, so there'll always be that state of tension – choices to be made, priorities to be kept. Knowing upfront what those priorities are helps a lot. Here's to a wonderful year for both of us, friend! xo
Sue, thank you! Your words blessed me today!! Looking to God for direction and guidance takes off so much pressure. I need to remember that. xo
Your blog was just the breath of fresh air I needed. Finding balance is still something I struggle with even at 50 but like you I'm determined to keep things in perspective this year. So glad you are refreshed and rejuvenated from your holiday! Your inspiring words are welcome whenever you find time to share them! x
She lived well. She loved
her husband and her kids and her friends. She put God first and she had an
impact in this world.- these are the words that inspired me from your blog today- GOOD on you for realising what is IMPORTANT !!!!!
Balance is a tricky thing- but if you do keep God first and put the time in to your marriage and your family, God will direct you in to what else is important to him…and to where he wants you to impact others…
You truly are a breath of fresh air!!!!
Be blessed today..
Sue xx
Thanks, girl!! xoxo
Jeanne, that's worth a lot!! Thank you, sweet lady!!
Keri, that's awesome. Well done you for keeping perspective and staying balanced. I'm so glad it's given you new enjoyment for what you do. It's so good to hear from others who've been through the same journey.
Agreed, Crystal! I know this is something a lot of people struggle with, especially with all the expectations we put on ourselves to juggle more and more. I popped over and read your post, and love the thoughts you shared. xo
Thank you, Tara!! <3 Your words are a big relief to me… I do tend to be neurotic, and I've worried about being judged for my choice to pull back a little. So glad to have beautiful and accepting people like you in my readership. xo
Thanks, Donna!! Yes, I think it's something we'll always struggle with to some degree. There's not enough time for everything, so there'll always be that state of tension – choices to be made, priorities to be kept. Knowing upfront what those priorities are helps a lot. Here's to a wonderful year for both of us, friend! xo
Sue, thank you! Your words blessed me today!! Looking to God for direction and guidance takes off so much pressure. I need to remember that. xo
Thank you for your words I can completely relate and I have promised myself to offer the best of myself to my family and not the scraps as I have been doing for the last 12 months. As always your words are perfectly said and have reinforced my decision to put my career on hold. I don't have time to read your blog 3 times a week so if you skip posting anything at all for a week I won't mind a bit. Keep us informed on how you are successful with finding your balance.
Diana…. I feel honoured that this helped give you clarity in such a major life decision. So glad this meant something to you. Thanks, girl! xoxo
I love this post and your pictures are beautiful! How blessed you are to be able to spend a whole month away with family!! I am not a blogger and my 3 awesome sons are all 30 and up with families and careers of their own. When I spend time with my grandsons I see so much of those times I used to spend with my boys and let me say, I miss it SO much! Those were some of the hardest and yet best years of my life. Even in my best efforts as a mom and wife I look back now and wish I had done some things differently. You are so right in realizing priorities with God, Husband, Children and anything after that. I worked as a nurse and I thought I was doing as right as I could to balance it all but my husband left me after 33 years of marriage. I had NO idea he felt unhappy (although he also had been having affairs for YEARS in a secret life that nobody knew about.) Even with that, I could have done more for my marriage but I think I did put him last in many cases.I learned a lot in this process of divorce and am very happy now in a new marriage with better perspective. The Lord has blessed you with a beautiful family so don't take this precious time for granted and treasure it with your WHOLE heart. Those of us that read this and know your heart will be back to support you and read. I hope you have a great and balanced 2015 and I look forward to seeing what you have to bring.
Thank you for your words I can completely relate and I have promised myself to offer the best of myself to my family and not the scraps as I have been doing for the last 12 months. As always your words are perfectly said and have reinforced my decision to put my career on hold. I don't have time to read your blog 3 times a week so if you skip posting anything at all for a week I won't mind a bit. Keep us informed on how you are successful with finding your balance.
Diana…. I feel honoured that this helped give you clarity in such a major life decision. So glad this meant something to you. Thanks, girl! xoxo
Amen! My aunt always says "your family gets the best of you" and it is something that I strive for. I'm so glad you've gotten some time off to spend with your family and go adventuring.
I love this post and your pictures are beautiful! How blessed you are to be able to spend a whole month away with family!! I am not a blogger and my 3 awesome sons are all 30 and up with families and careers of their own. When I spend time with my grandsons I see so much of those times I used to spend with my boys and let me say, I miss it SO much! Those were some of the hardest and yet best years of my life. Even in my best efforts as a mom and wife I look back now and wish I had done some things differently. You are so right in realizing priorities with God, Husband, Children and anything after that. I worked as a nurse and I thought I was doing as right as I could to balance it all but my husband left me after 33 years of marriage. I had NO idea he felt unhappy (although he also had been having affairs for YEARS in a secret life that nobody knew about.) Even with that, I could have done more for my marriage but I think I did put him last in many cases.I learned a lot in this process of divorce and am very happy now in a new marriage with better perspective. The Lord has blessed you with a beautiful family so don't take this precious time for granted and treasure it with your WHOLE heart. Those of us that read this and know your heart will be back to support you and read. I hope you have a great and balanced 2015 and I look forward to seeing what you have to bring.
Amen! My aunt always says "your family gets the best of you" and it is something that I strive for. I'm so glad you've gotten some time off to spend with your family and go adventuring.
Me too, Haley! Love that catchphrase. xo
Me too, Haley! Love that catchphrase. xo
I keep finding myself coming over here, so now I'm officially "following you" on bloglovin'!! And what a post to officially start following you on. Blogging and life and motherhood, it's a lot. I, too, took some time off (only two weeks but it felt like an eternity). December was my "crossed the line" of too many everything and time away was great perspective. I'm excited to start a new year and just relax on every level! Thanks for sharing your sentiments!
I've loved reading this post. I've felt very much like you in 2014. That overwhelming task of spinning a gazillion plates and the underlying feeling that you're failing with each one has been a major theme of my year. I'm hoping for a much brighter 2015. As for not churning out enough blog posts, less is more as far as I'm concerned. It gives me time to read and savour each post you write.
Love your blog and love your heart.
Kendall
PS I'm so glad you're still here.
I keep finding myself coming over here, so now I'm officially "following you" on bloglovin'!! And what a post to officially start following you on. Blogging and life and motherhood, it's a lot. I, too, took some time off (only two weeks but it felt like an eternity). December was my "crossed the line" of too many everything and time away was great perspective. I'm excited to start a new year and just relax on every level! Thanks for sharing your sentiments!
I've loved reading this post. I've felt very much like you in 2014. That overwhelming task of spinning a gazillion plates and the underlying feeling that you're failing with each one has been a major theme of my year. I'm hoping for a much brighter 2015. As for not churning out enough blog posts, less is more as far as I'm concerned. It gives me time to read and savour each post you write.
Love your blog and love your heart.
Kendall
PS I'm so glad you're still here.
Oh Karen! I needed to read this tonight. Beautifully written. I'm not burned out yet, but I feel like I will be if I keep going at this pace. I really ought to bookmark your post and read it often whenever I'm feeling overwhelmed or start to lose focus of my priorities. I love how you said "When I get to the end of my life, do I think people will be standing around my grave shaking their head over the state of my blog traffic in December 2014?
I would hope people will say this: She lived well. She loved her husband and her kids and her friends. She put God first and she had an impact in this world."
And now I want to go on a vacation to Tasmania…
Oh Karen! I needed to read this tonight. Beautifully written. I'm not burned out yet, but I feel like I will be if I keep going at this pace. I really ought to bookmark your post and read it often whenever I'm feeling overwhelmed or start to lose focus of my priorities. I love how you said "When I get to the end of my life, do I think people will be standing around my grave shaking their head over the state of my blog traffic in December 2014?
I would hope people will say this: She lived well. She loved her husband and her kids and her friends. She put God first and she had an impact in this world."
And now I want to go on a vacation to Tasmania…
Hey, girl!! I'm a big fan of your beautiful blog – so lovely to have you following along. What was it about December, right??! So. Much. Busy. Note to self: participating in a home tour 3 weeks after moving house is not the smartest thing I will ever do. 😉 So glad you got time out to rejuvenate. Here's to a sane and healthy year for both of us. 🙂 xoxo
Thank you, sweet friend!!! Your words are always like a warm hug. Here's praying we both find our sweet spot when it comes to balancing life this year.
LOL, well it is a great place for a holiday… 🙂 We love it down there!
Blogging is one of those jobs that I think so easily becomes all-consuming. There's always more to be done and more to be learned – sometimes it can be really hard to know where to draw the line. Wishing you a wonderful 2015, Carrie, and may we both find our balance! Hugs! xo
Hey, girl!! I'm a big fan of your beautiful blog – so lovely to have you following along. What was it about December, right??! So. Much. Busy. Note to self: participating in a home tour 3 weeks after moving house is not the smartest thing I will ever do. 😉 So glad you got time out to rejuvenate. Here's to a sane and healthy year for both of us. 🙂 xoxo
Thank you, sweet friend!!! Your words are always like a warm hug. Here's praying we both find our sweet spot when it comes to balancing life this year.
LOL, well it is a great place for a holiday… 🙂 We love it down there!
Blogging is one of those jobs that I think so easily becomes all-consuming. There's always more to be done and more to be learned – sometimes it can be really hard to know where to draw the line. Wishing you a wonderful 2015, Carrie, and may we both find our balance! Hugs! xo
I needed this reminder. I too am a blogger and chose the word Balance for 2015 as well. I have been trying to not get caught up, but it is hard sometimes. I work full time, have a wonderful husband and 2 beautiful kids to keep up with as well as our home. It's tough some days, especially when my husband travels. But like others readers have commented, it's important to prioritize. Thanks for the reminder and I hope you find Balance in 2015 as well!
I needed this reminder. I too am a blogger and chose the word Balance for 2015 as well. I have been trying to not get caught up, but it is hard sometimes. I work full time, have a wonderful husband and 2 beautiful kids to keep up with as well as our home. It's tough some days, especially when my husband travels. But like others readers have commented, it's important to prioritize. Thanks for the reminder and I hope you find Balance in 2015 as well!
Wow, you really have your plate full, Becky. I love that you chose the same word. Here's to Balance this year. 🙂
Wow, you really have your plate full, Becky. I love that you chose the same word. Here's to Balance this year. 🙂
Loved this post. Also a blogger mom of three kids, full time job, etc. I feel the need to ask myself am I doing this whole blogging thing because I believe God has given me something to say or because I want to feel important or valued. God's glory or my glory essentially. Good reminders about balance!
Loved this post. Also a blogger mom of three kids, full time job, etc. I feel the need to ask myself am I doing this whole blogging thing because I believe God has given me something to say or because I want to feel important or valued. God's glory or my glory essentially. Good reminders about balance!