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A Tribute to the Ordinary Crappy Day

Wednesday ~ Posted by Karen Schravemade

A tribute to the ordinary crappy day

 Two days in the life of a Mum. One ordinary… one extraordinary. One just plain ol’ crappy, one…. well. How to describe it?

Terrifying? Life-changing? Is that too dramatic?

I’ll let you decide.

These are the days that shaped my world last week, and how I’ve changed because of them.

FRIDAY

I know today will be crazy right from the start. An over-scheduled, chasing my tail kind of day.

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I’m tired from the get-go. Restless legs and a three-to-four-hour stretch of insomnia during the night is a regular occurrence now at 33 weeks pregnant. I’m beginning to think I’ll be less exhausted with a newborn. Hubby makes me a coffee. Bless him. The boys leave for school with Dad in the usual Friday whirl of lunches-library bag-homework-do you have your hat-I SAID get your SOCKS on-where’s your hat-clean your teeth-hurry UP Dad’s in the car-WHERE are your SOCKS??

We leave shortly after for Miss Three’s swimming lesson, and due to the craziness of our brand-new Friday schedule, we won’t be back home until 5pm. I try to pack for every eventuality for our big day out. Swimming stuff, water bottle for playgroup, morning snack for one, iPad to entertain Miss Three at her brother’s therapy session at lunchtime, afternoon snacks for all of them, etc etc.

I think I’ve done okay. 

The wheels fall off with surprising speed.

It starts with the tantrum from Hades on the way to swimming. A previously unmentioned-all-morning teensy-tiny sore on Allegra’s foot triggers sudden sheer panic at the prospect of getting into the water. I carry her in from the car, wailing. When she sees the pool she starts screaming blue murder right in my ear, so loud my head rings. I do a pretty good Mary Poppins impression, but no amount of cheerful coaxing will get her anywhere near the water. The teacher suggests rescheduling the lesson.  It’s barely 9am and already the stupid squeaky-new schedule is turning to shizzle. Bless her heart, swim teach pulls out the distraction of the century in the form of a toy pirate ship and some REAL treasure to hunt for – gold money!! The screaming finally stops and swim class begins. Better late than never.

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When she gets out I realise I’ve forgotten to pack dry clothes to change into. I mean, really?! #pregnantbrain

No time to go home; we’ve double booked the swim lesson on top of the start of playgroup, twenty minutes drive away. I squish her into an emergency set of clothes I unearth from my handbag. Shirt two sizes too small. It’s been in there for a while, apparently. Assess the effect. More than a hint of the abandoned child about this outfit. I bundle my orphan Annie into the car and tantrum #2 begins instantly because she wants to watch something on my phone and the battery is dead. (Already). I give my Mary Poppins voice another go as I explain this (over her wails of anguish) and distract her with food.

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Things don’t improve much at playgroup. Tantrum #3 is because I won’t give her the second snack I’ve packed in my bag. She’s already had one on the way, and the table at Playgroup is loaded with iced sticky bun, watermelon, and chocolate chip cookies. Besides, I need that snack for this afternoon! I’m trying to be prepared, dammit! She’s kicking on the floor and doesn’t appreciate my logic, OR my increasingly strained not-very-Mary Poppins tone.

Tantrums #4, 5 & 6: She gets stuck on the slide. Repeatedly. At least she’s stopped clinging to me by this stage and gone to play. It only took forty minutes for this to occur. #winning

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I can’t believe I was naive enough to think three years between siblings would be a “nice gap”. My other three were so close together that I thought this would be a walk in the park. Meanwhile, baby #4 is due in 5 weeks via C-section, and I still have a very high-maintenance tantrum-thrower.

Surely she should be over this phase by now. But no. It only seems to be escalating.

I daydream about a 5-week behaviour boot camp that will transform her into an angel before baby arrives. I cannot handle this awfulness as WELL as a crying baby. If there was a legal limit on the amount of screaming and crying one mother should have to endure, my kids would all be in jail by now. Don’t they understand that my patience quota has been completely used up? No. They don’t. They just keep on poking the bear.

My kids have no sense of danger.

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We leave playgroup early in order to make the thirty minute drive into town to pick up middle child for his Occupational Therapy appointment. Allegra needs an hour’s sleep on a good day. Today, three hours would’ve been preferable. She naps in the car for 20 minutes and wakes up crying when we get to school. It’s a rush to make the appointment on time, but we get there. Tantrum #7 occurs when I won’t let her play in the OT room where Aran is working with his therapist. I take her to the playroom full of toys instead and she wails like it’s the Gulag. I am such a mean, mean mother. Exasperated, I ignore her and read a magazine from 2014 about a couple expecting conjoined twins. They’re so excited to meet their baby girls. I Google what happened to them and learn that the twins died 19 days after birth. I cry. Thank you, pregnancy hormones. 

Aran is hyper after his session. Probably because it takes place during his school lunch hour, and instead of burning off energy on the playground (which is sorely needed for a kid like him) he has to work on his handwriting. The kids play a noisy, boisterous game while I wait for the receptionist to get off the phone so I can pay. I shush them repeatedly, but “Inside Voice” is not making any sort of appearance today. The lady gets off the phone and I make the kids apologise to her. She raises her eyes at my pregnant belly.

“You’re just a glutton for punishment, aren’t you?”

I agree with a slightly strained smile that I am, indeed, a glutton for punishment. And this isn’t even all of them.

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I feel woebegone as I nag the kids out of the building and into the car. Why did I ever think a fourth child was a good idea? I clearly can’t even handle the three I have.

We pull into the shops to pick up some groceries and thus kill time before we’re able to pick up the firstborn from school. Hyper behaviour continues as I scold the kids up and down the aisles. We stop past the chemist on the way out. I haven’t slept in three nights and someone told me Magnesium helps with restless legs. I ask the chemist for Magnesium. I feel proud that I remembered this while I was actually at the shops, instead of at 2am. Tonight, I will sleep!! Huzzah!

She tells me apologetically that because I’m pregnant, I need to clear it with my GP first. I recognise her as the same lady I asked about taking Vitamin B when I was struggling with depression a year ago. She told me the same thing back then about needing to see a GP first, since at that time I was trying to conceive, aaaaand I burst into tears in her shop. I wonder if she recognises me as that crazy emotional lady. I put on a bright smile to reassure her that no tears are forthcoming today. I kind of want to punch her though. Sometimes people just snap, ya know? I picture myself being interrogated in a police room. “It was all because of the restless legs,” I’ll say. “Did you know sleep deprivation is a form of torture?”

Being in prison sounds rather restful, actually. They don’t let children in, do they?

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We march out of the shops, me yelling at the kids with gritted teeth to stay with me and not run out into the car park. 

We get to school 5 minutes before the bell. (The kids argue all the way there.) I’m proud of myself because I need to be early today if I’m to make it back down to the coast in time for the boys to do their very first lesson of swimming squad. I’m towards the front of the queue of cars, but the queue doesn’t move. Carpark lady who shepherds the kids to the waiting cars is late. Then she’s breaking up a fight. We all sit. I look at my watch. All the people who parked and went in to collect their kids have been and gone. We sit some more. THIRTY-FIVE MINUTES it takes from when I pulled into the school grounds till when we pull back onto the highway. 

I grit my teeth. We are going to be so late for swimming. At this point I realise I also forgot the boys togs when I packed that morning, so we’ll have to go home before we go to the pool. We will be beyond late. My stress level rises to boiling point.

Firstborn school son chooses this perfect moment to ask if I brought the iPads. (Daddy usually picks up the kids on Fridays and this is their Friday treat.) I explain that I was not thinking of Friday afternoon treats when I left home at 8.30 that morning. I can’t even pretend to care. Firstborn bursts into tears and starts to whine simultaneously. I grip the steering wheel. I’ve done my crying quota today, kid. It was all used up by 10am. I give the kids the one iPad to share and the squabbling begins. We arrive at the pool twenty minutes late for a forty-minute session and the coach asks the kids where their goggles and fins are. Dammit – we were just at home a few minutes ago to collect togs and towels, how did I forget these essentials??!

I am an incompetent mother. Another strike for #pregnancybrain.

My face turns red and I bend very busily over Allegra’s shoes so I can pretend I didn’t hear him ask. It’s the first day of this new crazy over-scheduled routine, maybe things will get better next time? I resolve to type a list of everything we’ll need on a Friday and blow it up super-sized to stick to the wall.

I let the kids have some free play time after their lesson because it seems easier than having to get them out of the pool and actually deal with them. But it’s getting late so eventually it’s time to go. The kids have other ideas. They keep jumping back in and disappearing under the water while I call, my voice getting louder and increasingly strident. I am one of THOSE mothers. I feel sure everyone is secretly judging me. The whole day has been a disaster and I’m cranky, cranky, cranky as I herd my little ferals home.

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Mary Poppins has disappeared for good, and in her place is the Wicked Witch of the West. I snap at everyone, somehow survive arsenic hour and get them all to bed, then spend the rest of the evening feeling guilty for being so irritable with my kids.

It’s crappy days like these that make me think I’m crazy having a fourth child. The kids’ behaviour is doing my head in. Worse, I feel like I’m failing as a mother. I should be doing better. I studied child behaviour management at university, for heaven’s sake. I used to manage a class of 30 children with ease and style. How is it that these three mini dictators have so completely unraveled me? I’m a mess.

I cry a little into my pillow, then fall asleep exhausted, only to wake again (as usual) at 2am, unable to go back to sleep. In the dark, belly baby somersaults and kicks. My legs twitch. I stare at the ceiling and sigh.

SUNDAY

I’m feeling hormonal today. Hubby leaves early for music practice at church, and I drag myself out of bed to get the kids’ breakfasts. It’s like wading through wet cement. I haven’t had a decent night’s sleep in 7.5 months, and it’s all finally caught up on me this morning. Everything makes me want to cry. I keep tearing up unexpectedly over absolutely nothing. Thanks again, pregnancy hormones.

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We run late to church, purely because I am moving about as slowly as a toddler who’s been told to tidy up. I have no motivation left today for this motherhood gig. What I really want to do is call in sick and spend the rest of the day in bed watching chick flicks, eating chocolate and crying indulgently. Everyone needs a break sometime. I’m happy to take leave without pay from motherhood. Okay, boss? #fair’sfair #dreaming

At church I keep having to disappear to the bathroom because I’m crying. About nothing. Did I mention that? Nothing at all. It’s a little embarrassing. #pregnantproblems

Hubby stays after church to pack up his music gear, and I take two of the kids with me to the shops. We’re going to a church potluck lunch, so I need to pick up some food to share. I check my watch – heaps of time to kill. We shop for new clothes and shoes for the kids, sorely needed as they’ve grown out of everything. Time evaporates, the way it does, and suddenly I’ve gone from being early to once again running late. I load the kids into the car, feeling flustered. My head feels like it’s stuffed with cotton wool. I tear up again. Why?! Seriously, I have no idea.

I program the address into the GPS and we start to drive. Jaxon and Allegra are taking turns hassling me about stuff and bickering at each other. Allegra starts to whine. She’s HUNGRY. It doesn’t MATTER that we’ll be eating lunch in approximately 5 minutes. She’s hungry NOW. My hands tighten on the steering wheel. I’m so distracted. My head is so full of noise. We’re late and the adrenalin of that is prickling at me and the kids are whining and where on EARTH am I going? I don’t know this area at all. I glance down at the GPS while snapping something to try and keep the kids quiet so I can concentrate, because I just can’t THINK –

A bang like the world imploding.

The impact throws us all sideways, violently.

I hear Jaxon and Allegra screaming. We’re spinning around, tyres screeching, a crash, we had a crash, we’ve been hit.

Whirl of vertigo and metallic noise like one long drawn-out scream.

The car comes to a shuddering halt. The kids are wailing in fright. I open the door, what happened, how did that happen? I’m in shock, shaking. The world seems flat and very bright. The kids, are the kids okay? They’re screaming, screaming, but they’re fine, I think they’re fine. The car has spun around and is facing back across a highway.

The highway I just drove straight across without looking.

I drove straight through a give way sign without even seeing it and across a major highway. 

My mouth is very dry. I can’t believe this is happening. How could I do that? How did that happen? How?

A car pulls up behind us and a woman runs up to me breathlessly, am I okay? I don’t know, I don’t know. I think I’m okay. I’m crying a little. Hands shaking, shaking. The car is in the middle of the road and I’m worried because I need to move it. I try to turn the car around and pull off to the shoulder but the car is not working, something is wrong, it won’t move, a weird scraping sound, maybe I’m on the gutter? The woman is gesturing at me. “Leave it! Leave it! It’s okay!” I get out and see that the back half of the car is lying crumpled on the road, the wheel axel twisted under at a sick angle like a broken leg. I unbuckle the kids, get them to the side of the road. They’re sobbing. I hug them tight, my precious kids, I am so sorry. The woman, the sweet stranger, picks up Allegra and cuddles her. Her husband is on the phone and she tells me he’s calling emergency.

My belly is aching, but I feel bub move. Thank God.

I go back to the car and switch on my hazards. I’m still worried about my car in the middle of the wrong side of the road, facing the oncoming traffic, it seems so wrong, so bad. I did that.

The car that hit us limps further down the road and pulls over, crumpled and battered. A young couple come over. I’m apologising breathlessly, I’m so sorry, I’m so sorry, I’m so sorry. I can’t believe what I’ve done. They’re okay. Thank God, they’re okay.

They have a four-month-old baby in the car.

Oh, God.

I’m tearful and flustered and falling apart. They’re nice to me, undeservedly, probably because I had kids in my car as well and the kids are crying and I’m heavily pregnant and a mess. They tell me it’s okay. Their baby slept through the whole thing.

Oh, God. What if?

What if?

The thought is sickening.

What if I’d hurt that baby? What if I’d hurt my own kids? I would never forgive myself. My fault. All my fault.

Sweet stranger lady gets a teddy bear out of the car for Allegra. I smooth Jaxon’s hair with a trembling hand. He’s still crying, my poor darling. So scared. His head hurts where he knocked it. I need to call hubby, need him to be here. I get the phone out of the car and it rings in my hand, it’s Stephen, where are we? We’re late to lunch.

I tell him, my voice unsteady, and the world slows a little to the sound of his caught breath on the other end of the line. One of those defining moments you never expect until it actually happens.

“Babe, we had an accident. But it’s okay. We’re all okay.”

He’s on his way. The world rocks and steadies slightly. When he comes he holds me and does not let go. I bury myself in his arms, drinking in his strength and comfort.

The police arrive and start diverting traffic. The fire engine comes. Then the ambulance, to check everyone over.

It’s okay. 

We’re all okay.

MONDAY

I’ve been having contractions since the accident. Sunday and Monday, every two minutes for hours on end. Not full-on labour pain, just Braxton Hicks, tight and uncomfortable, a clenching ache that builds and recedes. The regularity of it worries me. It wasn’t like that before. I’m only 33 weeks. Too early, baby, too early.

I call my obstetrician and he wants to monitor baby at the hospital with the CTG. I go in for an afternoon appointment, but after an hour strapped to the CTG machine, doc says he wants to admit me overnight, just to be on the safe side. The good news is baby is healthy and happy, but they’ll give me steroids for baby’s lungs – just in case.

I didn’t come prepared for an overnight stay. We live too far away for Stephen and the kids to duck home and grab anything. I kiss my kids goodbye, then call a friend who brings around emergency clothes, toothbrush, hairbrush.

I read a little, watch a little TV. Gradually, the contractions settle and stop.

Mostly, I sit in bed for hour upon hour, and I think.

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I think about Friday, just a few short days ago, when I had such a crappy day. I think of the tantrums and the stressed-out schedule and my impatience and my sweet three-year-old daughter who has been driving her mother insane with her constant demands and whining and crying. I think of my recent ambivalence about this pregnancy. I was so excited at the start – and yet recently, along with my accumulating tiredness, there’s been growing panic about how I’m going to manage four kids, the niggling thought that perhaps I was wrong, shouldn’t have pushed so hard for a fourth; maybe it was all a really bad idea.

I think of how things could have gone, only yesterday when I inexplicably drove straight across a busy major highway without even looking up from the map.

I think about how easily I could have lost it all in the space of a heartbeat, the space of one indrawn breath. Just one momentary lapse in concentration that could have so quickly and irrevocably altered our entire world forever.

A split second’s difference in timing. An impact further forward, on a passenger side door. A bigger car like the Landcruisers with bull bars that are all over these coastal roads instead of the small bubble car that hit us.

God help us, a truck.

It could so easily have been so different. So horribly, tragically different.

I think of my crappy, totally ordinary day on Friday, and I’m suddenly overwhelmed with gratitude for it. For all of it. The tantrums, the whining, the trials and the everyday challenges of motherhood, even the relentless pregnancy insomnia and tiredness, because what an astounding privilege it is to have these kids, alive and well, this healthy baby kicking and moving inside my belly.

The very ordinariness of the crappy day is exactly what makes it such a blessing. On the same day that I’m struggling with pregnancy hormones and whining kids, someone else somewhere in the world has lost their child.

Someone who would give anything at all to have just one more ordinary, crappy day.

I think of when they told us our daughter might have a brain tumour. I think of the couple in the magazine who lost their conjoined twins. And of course, I know it wasn’t just pregnancy hormones that made me drip tears onto those glossy pages, because how can I ever read a story about twins without thinking of my sister and brother in law, who lost their precious little baby girl, born at 24 weeks?

I think of how blessed we are to be alive. To be able to do the mundane and the difficult, because really, none of it is truly difficult. The years will pass and the tantrums will stop and one day I WILL have a full night’s sleep again, and in the meantime, there’s always coffee.

And I want to raise my glass and make a toast to the crappy day, because sitting here in this hospital bed, I’ve realised what a blessing it truly is.

Crappy days, great days, mundane days, repetitive days, days of tantrums, days of fun and tickles, days of sweet sleepy prayers whispered into grown-up ears, days of little chubby legs and potty accidents and way too much crying, days of whining, days of bone-deep exhaustion, days of fixing boo-boos and fixing snacks and folding laundry and wiping up spills and reading stories and living life.

Yes. Here’s to the ordinary crappy day. Because somehow the maths works out all funny.

Put them all together, and they add up to a rich and wonderful life.

My hand glides over my belly. An answering kick comes from within. Life is stirring, getting ready to be made known.

Ordinary, wonderful, miraculous life.

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Lovely comments

  1. Sue says

    Thursday at 12:27 am

    Karen- I too was up at 2am and couldnt sleep so I read your post- You have such a way with words and are such a fantastic storyteller!!!!
    My husband and I prayed for you and your family this morning on our regular morning walk as I explained to him the miracle that occurred with your accident!!!
    Life is busy and hectic with kids and you are a great mum and 4 children will be awesome- hard but amazing.( I too am a mum of four – mine are now 26,22,18 and 15)..
    Bless you sweet lady xx

    • Karen Schravemade says

      Thursday at 11:22 pm

      Sue, thank you so much for your beautiful, encouraging words, and for your prayers!! You touched my heart today! xoxo

  2. mjmc says

    Friday at 1:49 am

    Karen, I wish I was closer (like on the same continent!) so I could come babysit for you. My heart goes out to you. I remember being pregnant with my 4th in 7 years, and I read about Elisabeth Elliot talking to her daughter, who had 8 children, and her daughter saying she was running in circles and just didn’t know what to do. Elisabeth told her “Just do the next thing”. I LIVED by that motto for the next few years (and still remind myself of it). A day at a time, Karen.

    • Karen Schravemade says

      Friday at 6:10 am

      You’re such a sweetheart. Thank you for caring – it means a lot. I LOVE that motto. Very wise words. xo

  3. Sandra P says

    Saturday at 1:08 am

    So glad your all OK!!! What a wonderful post. Thanks for sharing such personal thoughts. I’ve had waaay too many crappy days with 3 kids. Just now I was crying because I received an email from my youngest child’s teacher (2nd grade) which read EXACTLY as many other emails I’ve gotten from my 2 oldest kid’s teachers. They have both been diagnosed with ADHD. I wasn’t completely surprised but it still makes me wonder if i’m doing what’s best for kids and if i’m the best mom a can be. Some days are a real struggle but most days are truly a blessing. Thank you for making me stop and think of what really matters and getting things in perspective!

    • Karen Schravemade says

      Saturday at 8:57 pm

      Sandra, I so understand. My middle son has a Sensory Processing Disorder (hence the therapy) and we’ve really struggled with his behaviour. We’ve had the same emails from school that make our hearts sink – he even got sent home in Prep (age 5) because of his behaviour. It’s tough parenting a child with diagnosed special needs/ behaviour issues. (Let alone two!!) Noting can make us question our ability as mothers more than our kids’ behaviour. In my eyes, you’re super-mum because you’re dealing with so much more than the average parent, and that is not easy. Only other mums in the same situation can really understand, and I have a hunch there are a lot out there, probably questioning themselves equally and feeling quite alone. So seek out your support network and remember that you’re never truly alone. I’m so glad this post gave you a little hope and encouragement for today. Wishing you buckets of grace and joy for the journey. Much love! xoxo

  4. Elise Laney says

    Monday at 8:02 am

    My sweet friend!!! I am so thankful to hear that everyone is alright!!! I am so sorry to hear that you were having such a horrible day, but you are a constant encouragement with your positive perspectives and faith after dealing with the worst day ever.
    I will be praying for a smooth arrival of baby #4 – and some cooperation from the other 3. 🙂

    • Karen Schravemade says

      Tuesday at 12:56 am

      Thanks so much, gorgeous girl! Boy do I appreciate those prayers! 😉 xoxo

A blog by

Karen Schravemade

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Hi friends! So glad you're here! I'm Karen, Aussie stay-home Mum to four littlies, former teacher of Creative Arts, agented writer and interior decorator. I'm on a journey to bring beauty to my home and enjoy a more creative life with my kids - I'd love for you to join us. (Curious? Read more here!)

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5 years ago, I was struggling with social media ad 5 years ago, I was struggling with social media addiction.⁠⠀
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My compulsion to scroll on my phone was making me deeply unhappy, but I couldn't seem to stop. ⁠⠀
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It feels incredibly vulnerable, but for the first time, I'm sharing my raw and honest story about how I became addicted to social media, and the exact steps I took to break free. ⁠⠀
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I've gone from wasting hours on a mindless distraction that only ever made me feel worse about myself, to falling in love with God's Word and finding true rest + peace in his presence.⁠⠀
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I'm a speaker at the 2020 Christian Women's Self Care Conference, and the topic of my session is "Stop the Scroll and Feed your Soul - how to break social media addiction and find rest in God's presence."⁠⠀
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There are 55+ speakers in total, speaking on a wide range of topics relating to self care. Registration is FREE, but only for a couple more days until conference starts on November 9th! ⁠⠀
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If you want to hold your seat, just tap the link in my bio and select "Self Care Conference", which will take you to the registration page.⁠⠀
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I hope you'll be blessed!⁠⠀
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Meanwhile, please tell me I'm not alone - has anyone else ever struggled with this?? Do share. ⁠⠀
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PS... You can read more of my story in my latest blog post! (Link in bio -> Visit the blog). ⁠⠀
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I also shared this super cute DIY phone box to help you interrupt the pattern of mindlessly picking up your phone!⁠⠀
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xo Karen⁠⠀
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#selfcare #christianwomen #christianlife #socialmediaaddiction #phoneaddiction #selfcaresistersociety
If there's one word to describe how many women hav If there's one word to describe how many women have been feeling this year... it would be "depleted."⁠⠀
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I mean, for real. Who would've guessed back at the start of this year that we'd be dealing with a global pandemic, homeschooling our kids, financial uncertainty, and a total lockdown on many of our most comforting routines?⁠⠀
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Ladies, it's time to refill those emptied-out tanks before this year is out. I'm so excited to share that I'll be speaking at the 2020 Christian Women's Self-Care Conference, alongside 55 other bloggers, authors and speakers. ⁠⠀
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It's totally online, and our aim is to bless you with help and encouragement for your 2020-wearied soul! ⁠⠀
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Even better, registration is FREE until the conference begins on November 7th, so make sure you hold your seat today! Just click the link in my bio and choose "SELF CARE CONFERENCE".⁠⠀
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Hope to see you there!⁠⠀
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xo Karen⁠⠀
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P.S. Swipe - do you recognise one of those Day One speakers...? More on what I'll be speaking about, very soon! It's a goody!! 😉 😍⁠⠀
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#selfcare #selfcaresistersociety #2020⁠⠀
It’s Reconciliation Week in Australia and right It’s Reconciliation Week in Australia and right now my heart is so heavy with the injustice in the world that I’m struggling to even find the words.

Knowing that I’m inherently complicit in that injustice because of my privilege is sobering. At times I’ve been silent when I should have spoken and at other times I've spoken when I should’ve shut up and listened to the only voices in this narrative that really matter - the voices of those who’ve experienced this sort of prejudice from inside their own skin.

Racial injustice has always grieved my heart, but there’s a difference between empathy and kindness. Having empathy is important, but it’s not enough. Kindness speaks and acts. And right now I don’t really know what to say but somehow I feel it’s important to say something anyway, however imperfectly. Because there is nothing as deafening as silence in the face of systemic suffering.

I don’t know a lot. But I do know that Jesus was always on the side of the oppressed and marginalised. And the Bible tells us that one day, the last will be first and the first will be last. To me that means that in God’s new restored kingdom, these corrupt systems of the world will be turned on their head. In that day, those who’ve benefited from a system of white supremacy (myself included) will be the least. Those who’ve been oppressed and mistreated in this life will be honoured and elevated with the nobility they deserve. What a day that will be!! 🙌

But it’s not enough to know that someday it will all be made right. I hope to see heaven come to earth. I hope to see more black leaders, politicians, policy makers, authors, artists, influencers, CEO’s, entrepreneurs, bank managers, lawyers, judges, scientists and professors. The system is unfairly stacked and our privilege is self-perpetuating. I pray for it all to be turned upside down within our lifetime.

In the (paraphrased) words of MLK, let’s not prefer a negative peace which is an absence of tension (aka passivity, complacency, complicity, silence), over a positive peace, which is the presence of justice. “But let justice roll on like a river, righteousness like a never-failing stream!”
‭‭Amos‬ ‭5:24‬ ‭NIV‬‬
We’re in week one of homeschooling over here. Sc We’re in week one of homeschooling over here. School closures will last at least five weeks. I will not lie, I was anxious about how I would cope. But we are slowly finding our rhythm and perhaps one day in the distant future I’ll even have time to start scheduling posts to Instagram again. For now, this is a random mid week check-in to say, how are you surviving, friends? I’m thinking of you! Wishing you an oasis of calm in the midst of everything, whether it means getting up half an hour earlier than the kids for a morning walk alone, or locking yourself in the bedroom at night with a good book while hubby puts the kids to bed. #doneboth #wewillsurvive 💗
Easter iso style - camping on our land! When so ma Easter iso style - camping on our land!
When so many are feeling hopeless right now, we are thankful for the hope Jesus brings. 💚🧡 Happy Easter, friends!
There is no right or wrong way to be right now.⁠ There is no right or wrong way to be right now.⁠
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I've felt led to share some hope and peace with you this week. That doesn't mean you need to put any extra pressure on yourself if you are struggling to tap into peacefulness right now.⁠
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I'm an Enneagram 4, so I am well accustomed to getting trapped inside my own feelings. For the feelers, the weight of the world's problems can sometimes feel intense and overwhelming.⁠
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I was on the beach the other day, praying for a "4" friend who is struggling with this exact thing. And all of a sudden, all of these butterflies started flying from the sand dunes toward the sea, and out over the waves.⁠
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It was a windy day and they were being buffeted around. But I was so intrigued that despite their fragility, they stayed on course, flying directly into that strong wind to get to where they were headed. It started with one, then two, then dozens upon dozens of them. None of them were blown into the water or whipped out of sight. They just flew straight on, above the waves.⁠
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And it made me think of the sensitive souls of this world. Our "butterflies", who bring so much beauty with their creativity, perception, and deep compassion for others. ⁠
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Our butterflies are being extra buffeted right now by the winds of change and pain. That doesn't make them weak. In fact they have within them a surprising strength, to stay the course and to fly above the waves.⁠
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The thing is, you don't have to change who you are to be strong. You don't have to be something you're not. Your sensitivity is not a weakness - it's designed into your DNA by God. With so many people hurting and afraid at the moment, we need your compassion more than ever.⁠
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If you're feeling overwhelmed, it's okay to not be okay. Just trust that even if you feel buffeted by the winds, you are lifted by his grace above the waves, and you will not be drowned.⁠
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And even if you feel like you're flailing around out there, you never know, someone else might just be watching you, admiring your beauty and your grace. 🦋
I was reading a random little story the other day I was reading a random little story the other day from the book of Numbers, in the Bible. ⁠
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A king was scared of the Israelites and so he paid a prophet to curse them. Except every time they tried it, the guy spoke blessings instead. This is what he said:⁠
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"God has blessed, and I cannot reverse it! No misfortune is in his plan for Jacob; no trouble is in store for Israel. For the LORD their God is with them; he has been proclaimed their king." (Numbers 23:20-21)⁠
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Even the curses of the enemy will be turned into blessings for the people of God. ⁠
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He has given us an inheritance that cannot be shaken. ⁠
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💜 What blessing are you thankful for today? ⁠
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I'm thankful for the leadership of my local church, who continue to minister to peoples' needs both spiritual and physical. Our pastors have their own families and needs, yet they consistently look outward to care for their flock. ⁠
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Let me know yours below! Let's name as many BLESSINGS as we can!⁠
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xo Karen
Thank you God, for your goodness.⁠ ⁠ For famil Thank you God, for your goodness.⁠
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For family and a home and a table to gather around with our loved ones.⁠
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Thank you that when so much else is changing, you remain the same.⁠
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Thank you that you are for us and not against us. That your heart is toward us. That in you is all we need, now and always.⁠
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We pray for those who are lonely and isolated and anxious and unwell. For those whose jobs and livelihoods are lost or threatened. Give us creative ways to reach out with kindness, that we can be salt and light in a dark world. ⁠
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Let kindness for others not feel like a drain on our limited resources, but a natural outflowing of your continuous, abundant supply. ⁠
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Shelves may be bare, but you always have more than enough.⁠
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Every blessing comes from your hand and we are grateful.⁠
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Amen
“I am leaving you with a gift—peace of mind an “I am leaving you with a gift—peace of mind and heart. And the peace I give is a gift the world cannot give. So don’t be troubled or afraid." John 14:27⁠
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There is truly nothing like God's peace.⁠
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The world can offer mindfulness and yoga and candles and calming diffused oils and self-help. Nothing wrong with any of those things, in fact they can be beautiful tools - I use all of them. ⁠
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But I can say from genuine experience that the peace God gives is not like the peace the world gives. It's on a whole new level. ⁠
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It's the peace that he gives when you're in the middle of a storm and the world is turning to crap all around you and you're at the very end of yourself and self-help has begun feeling like trying to drag yourself from a pit via a rope around your waist that you're tugging on with your own two hands. ⁠
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We can't always lift ourselves out of anxiety or fear. So drop the rope. Stop striving. And ask God for HIS peace. He has an abundant well of supply for you to draw from. ⁠
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Fear is trying to hold tight to control in a situation we can't control. ⁠
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Faith asks us to let go, to repent of our fearfulness and surrender it all to God.⁠
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How do you find this miracle of peace? In the letting go.⁠
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We were never meant to carry this burden anyway. ⁠
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How are you doing today? Let me know how I can pray for you. ⁠
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xo Karen
I was praying yesterday and felt God telling me th I was praying yesterday and felt God telling me that it's time to make a transition. Instead of being a person who looks for support from others in times of stress or uncertainty, he wants me to offer support TO others. ⁠
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I've often felt like I don't quite have it together. I'm sensitive, I feel things deeply, I tend to get trapped in my own head and in negative thought spirals.⁠
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But I felt like he was saying that I have something to offer, anyway. Just because I've always been a person who views myself as needy or weak does not mean God views me that way. He can see the strength that is in all of us and he delights in calling it forth. I love how when Gideon was hiding in fear in a winepress, God's angel greeted him by saying "The LORD is with you, mighty warrior."⁠
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He was the furthest thing from a mighty warrior at that point. But God knew the battles he WOULD win in his future. He saw what did not yet exist and spoke about it as if it was already a reality. He saw Gideon's true identity and spoke directly to that buried and hidden place within him.⁠
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So. Maybe all I need is a shift in perspective. From looking inward at my own lack, to looking up at him. HE is the source of any hope and help I can offer. And if he wants me to share that, it would be my privilege to obey.⁠
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So let me know... is there anything you're particularly struggling with right now? If you're feeling anxious or burdened, I would love to support you in prayer. 🙏⁠
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xo Karen
We haven't been quarantined yet in Australia, but We haven't been quarantined yet in Australia, but I know many of my American friends are stuck at home right now. Either way - sounds like a good chance to do "one thing for the home."⠀
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If you're feeling anxious, it can really help to get out of your head for a little while and do something practical. We can't control anything in the outside world right now, but we CAN complete one concrete task to make our immediate environment feel calmer and function better. And sometimes just having that one little win is all we need to break us out of a negative thought-spiral and restore some equilibrium. ⠀
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If you're feeling a bit helpless and panicky, I hope this helps. It's one thing you CAN control. And doing something with your hands will give your mind a much-needed break. ⠀
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🌟THIS MONTH'S PRIZE: A $50 AMAZON GIFT CARD! 🌟⠀
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Here's a reminder of how to play:⠀
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1. Decorate, declutter or organise one thing in your home, this weekend. No task is too small! One shelf or one drawer is all you need to tackle to be eligible!⁠⠀
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2. Post your "after" photo on the Facebook thread (click through via my link in bio). Pics DON'T have to be spectacular - they're simply proof that you did it.⁠⠀
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3. Follow me on Instagram and Facebook. (Click through to my Facebook page via my link in bio)⁠⠀
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4. Tag some friends either on THIS post or on the Facebook thread to play along! If you complete the challenge, you will get a bonus entry for EVERY person you tag.⁠⠀
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5. Entries will be given for every challenge completed this month. We play four times in March - once every weekend! You can participate once or all four times, it's up to you!⁠⠀
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Giveaway is not sponsored, endorsed or administered by, or associated with Instagram. The winner will be randomly drawn at 8pm AEST Monday, following the last Sunday of the month. Giveaway is open internationally.⁠⠀
⁠⠀
I'll be going live on Facebook today at 2.30pm AEST to kick off this week's challenge and show you the space I'll be tackling today. International timezones are on the third slide - swipe right to see! Or click through my link in bio at any time to see the video saved on my feed.⁠⠀
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I hope you join us! This will be fun!
I’ve been quiet this week. In situations of flux I’ve been quiet this week. In situations of flux or stress my tendency is to withdraw and process. (I’ve learned this is very Enneagram 4 of me.) I also feel major reticence about adding to the current noise. I feel there are enough voices talking loudly all at once about the same thing and you don’t need one more.
So I give you instead a prayer for peace. If you are feeling anxious, let this be your exhale today. 💙
Weekend feels courtesy of the "Hamptons House"... Weekend feels courtesy of the "Hamptons House"... 😉⁠
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What are you up to this weekend, friends?⁠
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xo Karen
It's Friday! Time for our weekly "One Thing for th It's Friday! Time for our weekly "One Thing for the Home" challenge! ⁠This month I'm gonna raise the stakes and give away a $50 Amazon Gift Card. 🎉🎉WOOHOO!!⁠⠀
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You can win just by getting something done that you've been meaning to get to around your home! ⁠⠀
⁠⠀
Here's how to play.⁠⠀
⁠⠀
1. Decorate, declutter or organise one thing in your home, this weekend. No task is too small! One shelf or one drawer is all you need to tackle to be eligible!⁠⠀
⁠⠀
2. Post your "after" photo on the Facebook thread (click through via my link in bio). Pics DON'T have to be spectacular - they're simply proof that you did it.⁠⠀
⁠⠀
3. Follow me on Instagram and Facebook. (Click through to my Facebook page via my link in bio)⁠⠀
⁠⠀
4. Tag some friends either on THIS post or on the Facebook thread to play along! If you complete the challenge, you will get a bonus entry for EVERY person you tag.⁠⠀
⁠⠀
5. Entries will be given for every challenge completed this month. We play four times in March - once every weekend! You can participate once or all four times, it's up to you!⁠⠀
⁠⠀
Giveaway is not sponsored, endorsed or administered by, or associated with Instagram. The winner will be randomly drawn at 8pm AEST Monday, following the last Sunday of the month. Giveaway is open internationally.⁠⠀
⁠⠀
I'll be going live on Facebook today at 2.30pm AEST to kick off this week's challenge and show you the space I'll be tackling today. International timezones are on the third slide - swipe right to see! Or click through my link in bio at any time to see the video saved on my feed.⁠⠀
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I hope you join us! This will be fun! 🤩⁠⠀
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May the odds be ever in your favour! 😉⁠⠀
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Let's get this accountability ball rolling - let me know below what you're thinking of tackling this month!⁠⠀
⁠⠀
xo Karen⁠⠀
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#onethingforthehome #organized #organising #organisedhome #organisedlife #organisedmum #homeorganising #tidyhome #organization #organizedhome #aplaceforeverythingandeverythinginitsplace
We are getting closer on the home build front... a We are getting closer on the home build front... after two years of sketching dozens upon dozens of floor layout ideas and ultimately trashing all of them, I finally have a plan I LOVE!! ⁠
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It ended up being a highly collaborative effort between our architect and myself - he came up with a general concept and gave me external parameters to suit the contours of the block, and I then designed the internal layouts to fit. ⁠
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Turns out that is exactly what I needed - some guidelines! Amazing how much better our creativity flourishes within constraints. It was way too open-ended before our architect came on board, and I was flailing around in all that freedom like a tadpole in the ocean. Within a day or two of having a blank footprint to work within, I actually had a decent plan. We've tweaked it a little since then, but it's virtually the same.⁠
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I love it when something you've struggled with for the longest time suddenly just clicks. Has this ever happened for you?⁠
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Now we just need to draft it up properly and then see if we can actually afford to build it. Lol. ⁠
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One step at a time... 😆Celebrating progress today!⁠
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xo Karen⁠
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P.S. Let me know if you'd like to see a sneak peek of our plan in stories!!
So here's a little Enneagram primer to follow on f So here's a little Enneagram primer to follow on from yesterday's chat! This is just off the top of my head, so please take it with a grain of salt - there is SO MUCH more to each type than what I can sum up in a sentence.⁠
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Here are the 9 types:⁠
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1 - The Moral Perfectionist: self-critical, organised, driven by the desire to make things right and good⁠
2 - The Helper: relationally driven, people focussed, places others' needs ahead of their own⁠
3 - The Achiever: success driven and ambitious, gets things done, image conscious⁠
4 - The Romantic Individualist: creative, driven by the desire for uniqueness, feels things deeply⁠
5 - The Investigative Thinker: introverted and analytical,  detached from emotion⁠
6 - The Loyalist: community minded, a team player, driven by the need for security and anxiety about the future⁠
7 - The Entertaining Optimist: positive, energetic and playful, driven to squeeze as much fun out of life as possible⁠
8 - The Protective Challenger: a natural leader, confrontational, confident and determined⁠
9 - The Peaceful Mediator: conflict-avoidant, gentle and steady, driven to seek inner peace⁠
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I'm a 4 wing 5, married to an 8 wing 7. They do say opposites attract 😆⁠
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Do you see yourself in any of these descriptions? ⁠
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xo Karen
ENNEAGRAM⁠ ⁠ Where are my fellow Enneagram fan ENNEAGRAM⁠
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Where are my fellow Enneagram fanatics??!⁠
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I've only recently "discovered" the Enneagram, and OH. MY. GOODNESS. What a game changer. ⁠
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If you're not familiar with it, it's a personality typing system.  I've always been interested in personality differences and human behaviour - that's probably the novelist in me. But none of the other systems I've come across have resonated with me as deeply as the Enneagram.⁠
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It is so accurate, it's almost uncanny.⁠
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Basically, there are 9 types, representing 9 different ways of looking at the world, each with different motivations, behaviour traits, strengths and flaws.⁠
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I'm an Enneagram 4. That's the "Romantic Individualist". It's an artistic temperament driven by creativity, love of beauty, a desire for uniqueness, introspection, and authenticity.⁠
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I guess it's no surprise that when I had to ask my friends and readers to sum up my strengths for an assignment I was given, the two words that came up most frequently were "creativity" and "honesty".⁠
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Enneagram 4's feel deeply and are very connected to our emotions. We'd  much rather have a meaningful conversation about deep feelings than make small talk about trivial things. ⁠
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Each type can pull a little more to one or other of the numbers beside them, giving a different flavour. I'm a wing 5 (the "Investigative Thinker") which means I tend to be less temperamental/ moody, and more steady, reserved and analytical. ⁠
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I'm also daydreamy, a big-picture thinker, and despise administrative details. My "fatal flaw" (each type has one) is comparison and envy. Ohhhhh yep, that certainly rings true. Because while we want to stand out and be special, which can be prideful, we also struggle hard with insecurity and feeling like we never quite measure up.⁠
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Yes, yes and YES.⁠
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If you haven't done the Enneagram test, do a search online - it's honestly so interesting and self-revealing.⁠
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If you know your type, what number are you? xo
So I found out I have bronchitis. 🙄At least I f So I found out I have bronchitis. 🙄At least I feel less like a whiner - if I get sick I usually shake it within a couple of days, so I was starting to feel irritated with myself for still being crook after three weeks!⁠
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Anyhow, could be worse, and I do feel like I'm starting to pick up again now. ⁠
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This buffet in our living room holds a changing arrangement of mostly-white vases, with a bit of blue glass and green foliage thrown in for good measure. ⁠
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Are you a chronic re-arranger, or do you prefer to leave things as-is? ⁠
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To be honest, I've always been a "get it exactly how I want it then leave it like that forever" type of girl, but I've been loosening up and playing around more with my décor this past year, and it struck me that my buffet has gone through several style shifts now. I actually like it a little bit better every time I make a change! ⁠
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Hope this new week will be an awesome one for you, friends!⁠
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xo Karen⁠
BLACK vs WHITE⁠ ⁠ Let's talk kitchens! Our hou BLACK vs WHITE⁠
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Let's talk kitchens! Our house build is on my mind, and even though we're only at the plan stage, I'm trying to nail down my ideas in a general creative direction. ⁠
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The last three kitchens I've designed have been all white, with accents of grey. I really want to use black in my next kitchen. I love the drama of it (as we already established, I like a bit of drama. Ha.) I keep veering back and forth between all black, or some combination of black and white. ⁠
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I'm interested to know... what would you choose? My guess is that white-on-white is still gonna be the most popular choice, and black will probably be controversial, but I could be wrong! ⁠
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So let me know - I'm keen to hear your opinion!⁠
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1. All white⁠
2. All black⁠
3. Black + white⁠
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🖤♡🖤♡🖤⁠
Karen
It's Friday! Time for our weekly "One Thing for th It's Friday! Time for our weekly "One Thing for the Home" challenge! ⁠This month I'm gonna raise the stakes and give away a $50 Amazon Gift Card. 🎉🎉WOOHOO!!⠀
⠀
You can win just by getting something done that you've been meaning to get to around your home! ⠀
⁠⠀
Here's how to play.⠀
⁠⠀
1. Decorate, declutter or organise one thing in your home, this weekend. No task is too small! One shelf or one drawer is all you need to tackle to be eligible!⠀
⁠⠀
2. Post your "after" photo on the Facebook thread (click through via my link in bio). Pics DON'T have to be spectacular - they're simply proof that you did it.⁠⠀
⠀
3. Follow me on Instagram and Facebook.⠀
⁠⠀
4. Tag some friends either on THIS post or on the Facebook thread to play along! If you complete the challenge, you will get a bonus entry for EVERY person you tag.⠀
⠀
5. Entries will be given for every challenge completed this month. We play four times in March - once every weekend! You can participate once or all four times, it's up to you!⠀
⁠⠀
Giveaway is not sponsored, endorsed or administered by, or associated with Instagram. The winner will be randomly drawn at 8pm AEST Monday, following the last Sunday of the month. Giveaway is open internationally.⠀
⠀
I'll be going live on Facebook today at 2.30pm AEST to kick off this week's challenge and show you the space I'll be tackling today. International timezones are on the third slide - swipe right to see! Or click through my link in bio at any time to see the video saved on my feed.⠀
⠀
I hope you join us! This will be fun! 🤩⠀
⠀
May the odds be ever in your favour! 😉⠀
⠀
Let's get this accountability ball rolling - let me know below what you're thinking of tackling this month!⠀
⠀
xo Karen⠀
⠀
P.S. You can decorate, declutter or organise anything you like. No task is too small! Tackle a drawer, a shelf, or a storage tub. Do that niggly little job you've been meaning to get to. Hang that picture. Paint that stool. Sort through the kids clothes. We’ve all got that “one thing” - let us know yours! xo⠀
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#onethingforthehome #organized #organising #organisedhome #organisedlife #organisedmum #homeorganising #tidyhome #organization #organizedhome #aplaceforeverythinga
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